Top Ten Relateable Songs (When you're 18)

You know those songs you hear and you're just like oh hot dang that is so ME. As the chorus hits, you are replaying a memory in your head like it is your favorite film and it is just amazing how that song can hit every single emotion you are feeling. For me, Taylor Swift hits every emotion ever felt, but anyway here is a list of a few songs that I feel most everyone on this planet can relate to. *Disclaimer: I love love love sappy love songs, so pretty much these all have to do with love or feelings. As one of my favorite quotes states "It's all about love. We're either in love, dreaming about love, recovering from it, wishing for it or reflecting on it." Also I do not really understand a song unless it has a story or is about love so.

-Last Kiss (Taylor Swift) "All that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss" Ok so this song is basically every girls breakup song amirite ladies?! "I roll my eyes and you pull me in" I feel like everytime I wallow and listen to it, "How you kiss me while I was in the middle of sayin somethin there's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions" I want to stress tweet every single dang line because it is just so so so accurate. "You told me you loved me so why did you go away, awaaaaay"

-Never Getting Back Together (Taylor Swift) Even if you have never had a boyfriend every girl has that crush that they are looking back on and are like "wow what was I thinking I do not ever think I will ever feel anything for you again," and if you do have an ex that fits this song- it makes jamming to this song thinking "like you are not worth my time or energy so we are DEFINITELY never getting back together" that much more great.

-Still Into You (Paramore) This song just gets me like wow :'-) I think even if you don't have someone that you are still into after all of this time, the thought of having someone who still lights up your day  time after time again is just the best thought. And I think that the most relate able part of this song is that everyone craves to have someone that they are still into- even after seeing the good and the bad.

-Nice Guys (Colbie Caillat) Ok maybe this one isn't too relate able for everyone- for everyone else who is slightly more normal than myself. Because there is something wrong with me, I crave bad boys. I crave boys who I know will lead me on, who I know will drop me, who I want to think I can make nice just for me- the one nice and innocent sweet girl who changed them around. Well basically this song "She's blinded by a smooth talker telling her good looking lies, she hates but she loves it" like that is me to a perfect and crisp T. 

-Picture To Burn (Taylor Swift) Can I get a HECKZ YA for this one! I am sure that every girl breathing on this planet has at least ONE boy that she thinks of and is like "What the HECK was I thinking," and she realizes he kind of treated her like trash and that he is just a boy who used her- so he is just a picture to burn, literally.

-Boyfriend (RaeLynn) This one kind of brings tears because I think every girl knows of a time in her life when she has had the biggest crush on a boy who has a girlfriend, and (for me at least) they not only do not have the "skills" or "ways" to grab his attention, but they also know that his heart is to another girl. For me this is sophomore year and the cute senior in my seminary class but that's for another embarrassing day.

-(Kissed you) Goodnight (Gloriana) Can we just all take a moment to cherish first kisses? I don't mean your actual first encounter with kissing (which is a good one) but I mean first kiss with someone you care about, like no matter how many people you have kissed before, that first kiss with someone you like is the best feeling. Butterflies, anticipation, smiles. Agh I love it all. And I know the feeling of walking into your room and laying in bed wishing "he would have kissed me," and replaying so many moments when it would have been perfect, I know the feeling of "gosh is he ever gonna do it," and I know the feeling of wanting him to come back to make an ever so romantic gesture- and this song just plays out the most romantic scene ever! 

-Hollerback Girl (Gwen Stefani) DO I NEED SAY MORE BECAUSE GIRLS WE AIN'T NO HOLLERBACK GIRL

-Does He Know? (One Direction) Because who does not want a boy who knows all of the little things about you, someone who loves all of your embarrassing things and quirks, right? Someone who kisses your nose, someone who makes you want to gab about him for hours on end with your best friends and someone who makes you happier than you ever thought was possible.

-Invisible (Taylor Swift) I think one of the worst feelings in this world is loving someone who doesn't love you back. "Just because you feel it doesn't mean it's there," (not from this song but a very accurate and relating quote) and that thought is just so so sad to me. I know all too well the feeling of looking at a boy that you are crushing so so so hard on but he looks at another girl the way you crave him to look at you. I also know that crushing feeling to have your crush gab about another girl to you, and so does Taylor Swift.

Me

You know when you hear something and you're like "THATS SO ME RIGHT NOW," and if you're answering no to that question then you have a very special life that very few people can relate to so go you. For the rest of us regular folk, or just me I don't really know, I hear quotes or read quotes or something and I want to remember and cherish them for forever because I think it's cool when you see that someone else is going through something similar and has similar feelings or opinions. Also random thought I know I have lots of run on sentences but grammar has never been my strong suit and autocorrect doesn't fix faulty grammar. Anyhow, most of these quotes I have gathered today are from my readings of "Confessions of a Shopaholic," my new favorite novel because I think I laughed at the amount of how much I can relate about 90% of the novel. The other 10% was spent dreaming about how dreamy Luke Brandon looks and thinking about who relates to Derek Smeathe in my life. As someone who has self diagnosed herself with being a shopaholic aka someone who gets a thrill from spending money and usually spends money and showers themself with gifts when she or he is feeling a bit blue, I felt as though Rebecca Bloomwood is my inner thoughts and I also want to be her very best friend. She makes being utterly broke a humorous occasion. Basically, these quotes sum up many of my feelings that I expirience throughout the average day and I probably tweeted everyone of these and then deleted them. The typical tweet and delete. 

"I want you, isn't that enough"

"If only there were some way that I could get all the nice clothes-but not have to do the dreary work."

"Why haven't I got a boyfriend to buy me stuff in Tiffany's?"

"Where everyone is heading, go the other way"

"The girl who's got the completely wrong end of the stick"

"If everyone could just wear new clothes every day, I reckon depression wouldn't exist anymore. "

"Oh gosh, I'm missing the gene which makes you grow up"

"This is investment shopping"

"Luke Brandon, eat your heart out"

"Any plans for the rest of my life? Not really."

"For the girl that loves somebody else, shake the dust"

"I hope my legs look OK"

"I'm not ruined, just slightly dented"

"Oh gosh, I want to touch him"

YOU WHORE

4 am is a nasty time of day. It is the time of day where your mind gets foggy, you crave sweets and you miss every single crush you have ever had. 4 am gets even WORSE when you have triggers- those little fire-y bullets that set off something worse. I do not drink, but to me 4 am is like being drunk- in a sense. Because here, at 4 am when my mind is blurred and I cannot think straight I do really stupid stuff. Like texting an ex, kissing a boy I don't even want to kiss or tweeting something wayyyy too personal. All of those stupid things I continually do are always in the middle of the night when lonliness sets in, and also are almost always set by triggers. "What exactly are triggers?" well, good thing in the world of Kenzie I have a few laid out and also some descriptions:

-Music: boy oh boy is this a trigger! I mean one second you can be listening to "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten and you're all like "heckz ya I don't need anyone I am a fighter!" and then next thing you know your Spotify comes on with a song that carries wayy too much emotional baggage and you're like "wow let me just text that boy" and then you wake up and see that you sent a text that you miserably regret. Don't listen to old music at 4am because you will ALWAYS regret it. Unless I mean your text works out in your favor, then keep doing you.

-Pictures: obviously, pictures take you back. I feel like when I look at a picture I am taken back to that place, old emotions flood back that I have worked so hard to bury and I even remember old funny memories or moments- like being at Disneyland and Amber was so mad because she was not a fan and so she sat all alone in the little Dole whip center. See that is not funny, but because I was very stressed and awfully sleep deprived and bugged at many things that memory makes me cry until I can no longer breathe. 

-Meeting new people: for some reason, when someone walks out of my life and shuts the door with a loud bang, and someone skips into my life and opens my windows and fills them with sunflowers I start to find myself missing the dark figure that is no longer with me. And when that new person finds out more of your story and is starting to put your puzzle together, you have to undo some of the bandages you have around your heart and sometimes let the old in so you can let it hurt, before you let the new take over. Maybe I am saying this because I am a loyal loyal loyal person, or because for me 9:30pm is kind of my 4am, ugh 9:30pm you whore!!! 

-Pinterest: quotes and images and just everything Pinterest okay. As I have emphasized sometime earlier, I am a Pinterest quote whore. I just love quotes that are applicable to me, because it is comforting to somehow put your feelings into words. Also images- especially those cute couple-y ones, those melt my heart. I love love love couple pictures, I crave them. But they make me sad sometimes because I become selfish and want that for myself. Ok now I am rambling because once again, 9:30pm you whore.

---

The thing is, none of the "triggers" are bad things- the consequences are just horrendous. Because even if the action followed by the trigger is not true or accurate, for some reason 4 am dramatizes everything. Basically, I think it is best practice for everyone to not text late at night or listen to music late or anything late- but that's a personal opinion. Not a fan of 4 am evoked actions!!!

*Also funny moment- one time Carson asked what I was doing after work and I honestly was planning on going home and sleeping my long day away, but obviously I got caught up in watching 30 Rock and tweeting my feelings and snapchatting and at 10:30 I got a text from her "You said you were going to bed early YOU WHORE" And I just imagine her saying that to me, and the thought keeps me laughing for days. 

Blah

You know you're really having an off day when you are feeling kind of bummed and the thought of Ben and Jerry's doesn't even make you perk up. And yes, a jam sesh alone on the way home in the car did perk me up a bit, but still. I think that a nice hug would really cure my blues right now. I think we as humans should start using sounds to describe your mood, okay maybe I only think this because this is what I do, but today my pal Carson asked me how my day was and no words in my vocabulary could describe my mood. I wanted to just send a little voice message of a sound that is similar to "blah" to her to describe how I am feeling, but I settled with the word "hard." The thing is, I wish today was hard. I wish I could describe all of my many moods ;-) or emotions with words, simple words. Wouldn't that be nice?! And the worst part is, I don't even know why my mood is "blah," it just is. Maybe I should go see "Inside Out" because my mom says that movie teaches you lots about emotions, but today is Sunday and I also have an early workout in the morning. So that option, naturally, is out. So the real issue here is that Ben and Jerry's will not perk me up, a movie cannot, (which I am not too bummed about because I get bored in movies very fast), looking at pictures of fun memories will not perk me up because it makes me miss those times. I miss things bad, like memories and people and feelings. I miss home easily, I get homesick for consistency and the people of Gilbert. So good thing I am moving 9000 miles away in the fall right? Actually that thought makes me perk up, like a lot. I just sat up straighter and I am pretty sure that my room just got brighter.  Also Ben and Jerry's is sounding a lot better. 

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-it's just incredible how people effect my mood

-I love first kisses gosh everyone tell me their first kiss story

-I always buy everything because retail regret is the worst kind of regret

-ugh

-Coldplay over everythingggg

-someone send help and aloe Vera pls

-"she loved life and it loved her back"

-can we just hug it out

-why does the stupid stuff still make my heart jump

-everybody's gotta be somebody's rebound

-it was nice to talk about a future using "us" instead of "I"

-why can't we just all be friends

-it's the little stuff that still gets me and it's annoying af let me tell ya

-I think the worst thing ever would be my blog drafts getting out

-I just miss having someone to tell all my thoughts to and send lyrics that were stuck in my head

-I wish everyone success in their future endeavors, some more than others, but success nonetheless

-like it's hard to not let people ruin traits you have that are GOOD AND GENUINE ONES but like how do you draw the line between letting people use you, and people just being a party of your loyalty

-"You probably want to sacrifice his soul in hell"

-boys- if you like a girl then tell her! If you don't then probably don't tell her, but don't lead her on ya

-"his avi isn't even cute, his face isn't even cute, he's generally just not a cute person"

-so many cute outfits and nowhere to wear them to :-(

-but boys with issues are soo hotttttt

-"how many John Tucker's have pulled a hit and run on you?"

-when you have a really scary dream and you want to call someone but you can't 

-HOW ARE WE SUPOSED TO START A HAPPY AND HARMONIOUS HOME LIFE TOGETHER IF YOU DONT EVEN DM ME BACK

-I wonder what Miley Cyrus is doing right now

-"You're what I think judas looks like"

-@@@@@

Confession

Ok but real quick I have a very important confession. I really wanna be super successful and make a difference and maybe open my own salon or be a buyer or whatever, but I would be lying a very much large amount if I say that when Shay asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I answered with "milf," that I was just joking. Because there's just this part of me that wants to be that fun wife who has a cute house and surprises her cute husband at work, and has a really fun house that is classy and cozy and comforting. I want to be that mom with the big white escalade who drives her girls to dance and her boys to sports, who spends her days visiting friends and making sure they're taken care of and working out and shopping of course, the mom who has time to be a part of all of her kids activities and visit teach and has time to make the home a special place. I want to be the wife that is so cute for her husband and makes cheesy shirts when he turns 40, and the couple that takes night lake trips and family&friends vacations to beach houses. I know this probably is not very realistic and that a life like that isn't perfect, but doesn't the thought of having a cute house and cute kids and a cute husband to cuddle for forever just sound so dreamy. Disclaimer: this secret dream of mine does not mean I am searching high and low for a returned missionary to put a ring on my finger because I actually have some plans I gotta do before I'm a fun dance/soccer/workout/volunteer mom. 

Current State of The Union

Current state of the union inspired by the usual- snacks, boys and clothes. Sorry I am very expected lately.

in:

-NIGHTIES!!! Confession: I love love love new jammies and undies, it's really a shame I'm the only one who ever sees them but whatever I dress for myself and not for others, amirite. Nighties are the most clever invention, especially when they have quirky little sayings on them. Although I utterly cannot stand forever 21, they have really funny ones. Also pink, pink has some good nighties.

-Meghan Trainor: yes I am so very sorry but actually she's so sassy I just love it! Like she is the ultimate "BA after a break up" playlist master, and I always feel super powerful and awesome after doing a little sing along to her songs.

-Surfers who wear their wetsuits half off so you can see their beautiful bodies, and then their hair is a little messy and beachy looking, and just wow need I say more?

-Apparently playing with peoples emotions!!! I kinda feel like all boys in the mf universe meet together monthly and hold a raffle to see how many boys can lead girls on, mess with their head and make them miss them! 

out:

-Masking your feelings. I only say this because I feel like I suck at it, like if I am mad at you, you and all of my twitter followers will know. If I miss you, I will let you know. If I have a crush on you, I probably won't explicitly tell you but you will darn sure know. 

-Lying/cheating/manipulating/twisting words and actions/you

-BEING SUNBURNED ACROSS YOUR ENTIRE BODY I ache and am really hot (temperature wise :-///) and need a bath in aloe vera ASAP!!!

-MERCURY IN RETROGRADE BECAUSE IT IS NO LONGER IN RETROGRADE (as of June 11th)

Things That Stress Me Out

My mom tells me I stress too much, which I do. But I like to think of it as I am just very detail oriented, and not stressful. But heck, things that should not stress your everyday Gilbert resident really make me think I'm going to go gray pre maturely. I mean, I stress when I don't have anything to stress about. Also, I do not worry about things that actually matter- like around finals time I would get sick from stress but not the I-need-to-get-an-a kind of stress, the kind of stress like I need to find the perfect comfortable yet very stylish outfit combo to wear to take finals, also should I get my teachers presents, also what am I going to do about never seeing the boy I am positive is the love of my life in my English class yet I never spoke a word to?! Those are things that linger in my mind, along with a few more:

-is my future house going to have light wood, like bleached white almost, or dark wood floors?! Because light is so trendy and welcoming and just heavenly, while dark is classic and comfy. And although I am not planning on settling down and be picking out floors, anytime soon, it's good to be prepared. But along with pondering about floors you have cabinets. Do I want cute white cupboards with silver knobs, or a dark wash one with bronze?! Also, what if I meet a super hot surfer return missionary who also wants to live in Gilbert for forever and we just get eachother on that level, like I fill him up where he's missing and he fills me up where I'm missing and so we decide to elope to the Hawaii temple like next week (this surfer return missionary is also super rich from working for his dad or something I don't really know) but we come back from our honeymoon on the Greecian beaches and we buy a cute little cottage in Agritopia and I have to make a quick decision- light or dark floors. White or brown cupboards and cabinets. It's always better to be safe rather than sorry. 

-if I look at the guy running across the beach does that look like I'm checking him out?! Ok all of the signs point to it and as there is a good chance I am, I look at everyone who walks across the beach. Like I just like to take in their style and how they walk and come up with situations about their lifestyle and their families- so you see: while it looks like I am merely checking out the hot runner who's passing by I'm actually doing an im depth analysis. 

-do I tweet too much?! Ok yes in fact the signs all lead to I positively do, but actually I don't really stress about this I just wanted to add that I have so many funny thoughts (I think???) that pop into my head and sometimes I just can't wait to post them on my blog I just want to tweet them! Hear me tweet world! ;-)

-which Instagram picture? Literally yesterday, I sent 2 different set ups of the exact same picture with the same filter to probably 6 different pals and also consulted Tyson. I can't make a decision to save my life- and that stresses me like no other. Also stressed because I can't make a decision, and it just hits a downward spiral. Anyway, basically I finally decided upon a picture when Tyson said "it doesn't matter they're the same" when I realized no matter which one I pick, the few people who actually do see my picture will not see the rejected one so they have nothing to compare it to actually, so whichever picture anyone decides to post on Instagram is always the right one. 

-did that person think I was laughing at them?! Oh no they think I'm making fun of them. This is a constant fear because I laugh at everything- uncomfortable situations, scary movies, funny moments (obviously) and sometimes sad situations which sometimes I laugh in public because sometimes a funny text will pop up from Carson and I literally laugh out loud, and the random goer by next to me probably thinks I'm laughing at them. Then they feel bad, and I feel bad. Because I know what it's like to feel bad about yourself and that sucks. A lot. 

-should I have tinder?! I'm just kind of stressed because that whole tinder thing freaks me out. I've been single for about 98% of my life and I have 100% never downloaded tinder, ever. 

-should I take my break at work now or later? Because if I take it now the E bar will most definitely have zucchini bread, but if I take it later they might not have zucchini bread but if I take it later I will have less time until I get to leave after my break, which could make the day go by faster. 

-should I answer all the "who wants to hangout snapchats" literally everyone sends out daily. Because I wanna hangout!! But also they're mass snapchats, but also I'm bored so.

-do I fav or not fav the fmt tweet. This one is a stinker because it's a risk, you fav, wishing and waiting for the little stinker of a dm that (for me atleast) never usually comes. So normally I choose the do not fav, just kidding I always fav but I never get the dm so maybe if I say I never fav then I sound cooler, and I can hold onto more of my pride. 

Xoxo

Currently

This is currently my view 

On the Coronado Boardwalk. Also 89% sure that the people walking towards me thought I was taking a picture of them... Which I was- they just weren't the focus. As they shot me rude and weird looks as they doddled on past me I wanted to yell "I WASNT TAKING A PICTURE OF YOU GUYS I WAS CAPTURING THE MOMENT FOR THE VIEW YOU ARENT MY FOCUS" and for the last 3 minutes the thought "you aren't my focus" resonated in my head, so naturally I must write a post about it. K here's the sitch, I love and crave hearing other people's stories, I love hearing about the trials they  have passed and the highs of the highs of their life and I love love love understanding why people think the way they do, I just love people. But those who think they are my focus in life so much so that I can't function or think of anything else, well you get under my skin you!!!! Like no, my tweet is not about a boy who was mean to me last week, my tweet could be about the boy at the Icecream shop using his great muscles to scoop my Nutella-banana icecream into the fresh waffle cone bowl (yum), and no just because you pissed me off two months ago does not mean my sucky friend tweet is about you either! Also I feel like I'm not making any sense. It's probably because I'm wearing shorts in cold weather and my wildfox sweater isn't doing any warmth to me and I smell bbq chicken and I can't stop people watching at every human being walks by.

 I love people watching. I love seeing a cute couple and thinking "I could be good friends with them, maybe they have a cute guy my age who they could set me up with and then we could do fun couple things like beach trips and lazer tag dates, and then buy houses next to one another and have backyard barbecues while our similar aged children frolick around while the moms gossip and stir lemonade and the dad flip hot dogs and steak" and then my mind keeps rambling until I'm thinking about growing old and how growing old really I think is going to suck, but maybe if you do it with that one person who literally puts the stars in the sky for you, growing old isn't that bad- at all. And then I'll see a pair of little brothers riding scooters past with helmets and I want to yell "please always be kind to girls because girls have feelings that are sensitive" and then they would look at me weird and laugh but then, when they grow up and are dating a girl who is magnificent in every way and they get a bit annoyed with her and want to break it off, they will remember the crazy girl in the "hola amigos" hat sitting alone on the bench on Coronado island and her words will ring inside their little heads and instead of breaking it off with her, they will bring her a smoothie and a kiss and cuddle and watch Dirty Dancing with her. And then I picture this couples proposal story, and wedding- down to every last detail with me as the planner, of course, and then while I'm in the middle of choosing if she wants peonies or garden roses I am interrupted by the couple macking on eachother in the bench right next to me right in my view. Well, what can I say, at least they have someone to make someone else uncomfortable with by kissing lots. Because I sure as heck do not. 

kind of sad Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-IM SO OVER YOUUU

-wtf cmon universe why can't we all love eachother

-taking a stroll down memory lane is all fun and games until you decide to settle down and get a mortgage with the cute house on the corner

-I miss you

-embarrassed

-I think the look on someone's face before they're about to kiss you is one of the best things in this world 

-When the person you want to talk to the most doesn't want to hear from you

-hey hi hello we would be the cutest couple on the block so maybe notice me???? 

-why is there something so appealing about someone who doesn't want you

-ur so cute my heart is melting 

-so many cute couples at this beach and so not any cute single boys ugh

-one time a boy I had a crush on liked my Instagram picture from 63 weeks ago and I think I threw a party for 3 weeks straight 

-boys are just the worst

-boys are just the best

-ok but you're lying if you say you don't occasionally worry about ending up alone because like what if someone can't deal with your crazy?? What if your highs don't outweigh your lows?? What if you don't find someone who wants to scratch your back and night and wake up next to you?? What if you ruined your chance with "your person" ?? What if "my person" is that cute surfer I saw walking back to my condo that I was too afraid to say hi to??

-why is it that someone can mean more to you, than you do to them

-I fear the day that shopping won't lift my spirits

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-the best part about having a new phone is boys names don't autocorrect to all caps anymore

-saying you miss someone comes with a lot of responsibility

-Happy Father's Day to my future husband who better be a dilf and also have a well paying job because I don't come cheap

-K BUT I DESERVE A GUY WHOS GONNA BE A DILF WITH A WELL PAYING JOB AND WHO RESPECTS ME

-so over youuuuuu

-I think we can all agree the worst thing is accidentally exiting out of your music because one second you're jamming out to some good Beyoncé feeling on top of the world and the next you can actually hear your family talking to you ugh

-when you're done missing someone what else do you have to think about lol

-just kinda friend emotionally and also physically because spf 12 

-THIS ":/" WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME when I see it I hear an annoying "blah sound" and I can literally hear the person saying "idk what to say but I don't care enough to figure out what I mean so :/ BLAH"

-why is talking to a cute boy still such a hard thing ugh

-I just want someone who fills my stomach with butterflies and pizza

-sometimes I just put in headphones with no music playing because then no one bothers me

-looking forward to the day I can walk out of lululemon with a large bag aka victory

-when someone has been so rotten it's hard to believe a "sincere" apology

-face me in person lol don't hide behind Twitter dms

-BOYS IN RVCA SHORTS AND CUTE HATS ARE THE REASON MY HEART KEEPS BEATING

Life Tips ft. Amber

I feel like everything Amber has to say here is SO IMPORTANT. Double emphasis on the importance. I just have to share some of her wisdom because I want to remember it forever. 

Lesson number one: Buy the expensive swimsuit. just because it's a little out of what you originally intended to spend doesn't mean you shouldn't get it. Buy the suit and maybe don't eat out for the next week or so to save money. If you don't get it you're going to end up buying 4 mediocre $20 swimsuits that you never want to wear and then end up buying the expensive one anyways and then end up spending way way more than you ever wanted to. So just buy the expensive swimsuit. 

Lesson number two: Boys are never going to treat you exactly how you imagine they should. It's a very rare thing to find a boy in a high school or even college relationship who is willing to spend loads of money on a girl no matter how much he loves her. It is also very uncommon to find a boy who is a great texter who isn't also a tool with an underhand motive. If your boy isn't texting you back very fast or sometimes hits you with the reads or sometimes seems semi uninterested in the conversation IT WILL BE OKAY. He's a guy. This is not however excusing BAD behavior of men. If anything he is doing is hurtful or damaging to yourself or relationship, leave. It doesn't matter how he's showing his love if that is how he shows his frustration.

Lesson number three: He probably won't notice your super cute hair you just got done at a really fancy salon. Once again. He's a guy. He's oblivious. 

Lesson number four: Boys will tell you they like you just so they can make out with you. It's deceptive and rude and works nearly every time. Learn to recognize the difference between a hook up "I have a crush on you" and a real life crush

     1) hook ups will admit to "crushing on you" within a few days and often use more emojis than a real man

     2) hook ups will most likely only tell you what you want to hear if it's past 10 pm and maybe if you're lucky 9 pm 

People to Praise

Sometimes people impress me, no a lot of time people impress me. I'm constantly shocked by the guts and grace some girls have- like honestly. Here's some thoughts on some people to praise:

-people who are genuine

-girls who don't fall for "I miss you" or "I need you" 

-boys with good intentions

-the pizza delivery guy bc wow I love you

-people who let other people be happy without letting their own happiness feel threatened

-people who actually dm you when you fav their FMT tweet

-boys who are true and real

-the doorman at the condo because he always opens the door for me and makes me feel like a princess

-girls that listen to Taylor swift breakup songs to give them strength

-people who send ugly snapchats

-good friends that have your back in all situations

-BOYS THAT TEXT FIRST AMIRITE

-Walt Disney

-dog people and not cat people

-the mom sitting 12 feet away from me on the beach because she just told her 13 year old son that he can't be dating 4 girls from 4 different schools and also she's taking away his boogie board for the day

-whoever made up Spotify premium for $1 a month for 3 months

-those who encourage one another

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-why am I making it so easy for people to walk out of my life

-sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I could actually develop feelings lol

-is friends with cuddle benefits a thing???

-just tryna find a California fling ya feel

-USA is about to be a happier place

-cool!!!!!!!!

-people who hurt people for fun are not cool people

-you always want what you can't have right

-dr pepper kind of people are not my kind of people

-do you ever remember a memory and you're like wow that was so good and I was so full of hope wow what has happened

-when everything starts to be fixed, everything starts to break

-I'm an emotional junkie

-I would rather be car sick than love sick

-k but being 9000 miles away is sounding better and better by the day

Expectations vs. Reality

When graduation hit, I felt like big things were on the horizon. Like somehow being graduated would make all of the mature, handsome and funny cute blonde boys flock to me and I would also live a lifestyle where I could wear heels during the day and my prom dress to events at night. And that somehow by being graduated I wouldn't be annoyed with stupid boys, fall for stupid boys, and have to deal with stupid boys. And boy was I wrong. I feel like Bailey here is a very clear visual of how I was looking forward to the time after graduation, full of high hopes and very great expectations, and myself in the photo is how I actually feel- like oh goodness I actually have to make real life decisions and probably not spend all of my money on zucchini bread and graphic t shirts. Because guess what: as happy as I am to be done with highschool and have that in the past, being graduated doesn't grant you a pearl necklace wearing with a cute guy in a bow tie draped on your arm kind of lifestyle; boys still kind of suck, you still feel insecure too many times and you find out that wearing heels all day actually hurts really bad and you do not know how Blair Woldorf does it. And although my lifestyle is not filled with black tie events where I can show off my newest Last Chance find ;-) my graduated lifestyle of working super hard and going to lunch with friends and working out and tanning lots is pretty great. But still, I am waiting for a place to wear my prom dress to again so if anyone has a ball or anything coming up and a cute handsome blonde hunk that loves to watch sitcoms, loves backscratches and will laugh at my silly jokes who also needs a date with a fancy dress please comment below. Xoxo Loves

Fun Features Of Being Single

There's so many cool and fun things about being single!

-You sometimes feel like you need to be ready anywhere you go because what if you are shopping at Bashas at 10:40 pm and you run into the potential love of your life?! You don't wanna be in your "snooze before dudes" sweats and your old highschool game day tee, you wanna be looking hella fly amirite ladies, so you are usually looking top notch

-At the same time you literally have no one to impress or keep interested so sometimes not getting ready is a valid option

-You can tweet really sassy and depressing tweets about feelings and boys without people asking if you and so and so are breaking up

-So many Taylor Swift and Meghan Trainor songs are now applicable

-When you're watching Netflix on your laptop, you get the whole screen to yourself!!! You don't have to share it with anyone else and you can lay across the couch with your laptop at any angle you want because you don't have anyone to share it with

-You don't feel bad for being hit on by the guys that hit on you at the pizza line in the food court (mostly creepy 40 year old men but)

-You can fave all of the FMT for a DM tweets you want and maybe you only get one DM for every I don't know 42000 tweets you fave, but still you are free

-You have a lot of time to spend with your girlfriends, like a lot of time

-You have a lot of time to spend on yourself, because sometimes all of your friends are working 3 jobs and in Cabo and at EVIT and at their cabin, so you really can workout and tan all you want

-You can work all you want and pick up shifts because you literally have nothing else to do!!!

-You can chop your hair whenever you're feeling impulsive, because you don't have a boy who "loves your long hair" to worry about. Exhibit A:

Anyway that's all

Two New Men ft Carson

So I started this new thing where I don't eat white bread or sugar- yeah that lasted for a good 18 maybe 19 hours because home girl here loves pizza and also loves Ben and jerrys chocolate fudge brownie. I'm a firm believer that a good serving of icecream can cure any crappy boy situation, any snotty girl and any just no good horrible awful bad day. Also best friends make it days that are extra hard, extra do-able. That's what today is- do-able. And in the wise words of Aquamarine "I've got two new men in my life and their names are Ben and jerry." Because guess what boys were extra crappy today, so I really just am losing all hope and going for Ben and Jerry, they're always there for me.

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-"Mom I can't have a croissant it's white bread" "it's okay, it's mostly butter"
-BOYS SUCK FEELINGS SUCK EVERYTHING SUCKS

-"Ugh I want a puppy!!!" "I know, I just want a fish!!!"

-I :-) Despise :-) You

-"I use product in my hair, it's called my own grease. High class, I know"

-I'm the person who forgets to use the blinker I'm sorry
-Haters gonna hate but I just say what everyone is thinking oops

-Waiting for the day when I acquire the skill of just knowing where things are in the grocery store
-This guy on the radio broke up with a girl because she bites her nails I think I've lost all faith in humanity

-I feel bad but not bad enough to fix it

-Just favorite my FMT tweet gosh dangit
-Why
-Lol

-I wish I could put a filter on in real life

-Some days are hard, and today is a hard day

-Lesson número 1: don't get too invested

-K universe you can stop throwing up on me!!! Shower me with love and hugs and kisses!!! ((Preferably by a cute boy))

-Change sucks

Current State of The Union: Late Night Edition

Because I am an early to bed kinda gal, usually things that I say and do after 10 pm I regret a lot. But it also keeps things fun and a little bit exciting, as exciting as a life of a girl who has all of the symptoms of being a shopaholic and calls a day of tanning and romance novels the best day ever.

IN

-Apparently not caring about people!!!!

-Changing your mind, people these days are real good at that so go us!!!!

-"Netflix and chill" ok honestly wtf I just did not know that "netflix and chill" secretly means "hook up" so PSA if I have ever favorited your "netflix and chill" tweet it's because I love love love netflix and I love love love binge watching sitcoms

-Thinking the world revolves around you!!!! I guess this is the cool thing everyone is doing now!!!!

OUT

-Letting people know how you feel!!!!

-Sliding into the DM's- why do people not tweet about this anymore I just think it's so funny "imma slide into the DM's" like everyone still does it why doesn't anyone talk about it

-Being fake to people is still out I am so sorry :-(

-Missing people- out with the old, in with the new :-)

Funny Screenshots

Funny screenshots throughout my day that make me smile a little bigger and love my friends a little more. 

I Like Big Books and I Cannot Lie

Confession: I'm a total book junkie. And I'm not even going to lie and be like "oh I love Jane Austen and I just eat up Pride and Prejudice, mr Darcy oh how you get me!" (I mean don't get me wrong, I love mr Darcy in the film with Kiera Knightly but I cannot get myself to read the actual thing I suck I know) but I love and crave and desire every stinking current romance novel- especially ones that involve a summer romance ugh. There's something about a summer romance that is more enchanting, it sizzles and is dreamier and steamier to the reader. I love getting swept off into a world where the protagonist has to chose between two boys- usually one who is a jock and a sweet talker and the other is mysterious and writes poetry and has deep eyes and a deep soul. Like my heart aches just dreaming about being that main character who has two hot guys fighting for her attention, and when I'm reading I kind of feel like I am. I can't describe it. One time, when I was already deep into my infatuation with cheesy teen romance novels, in a book about a mom who is a wedding planner and eventually falls in love with her daughters English teacher, the English teacher mentions to the daughter that he always writes notes in the margins. Now, I am not that insightful to write my thoughts in the margins, but I sure as heck ;-) do underline like no other, dog eat my favorite chapters, and even tear off edges so I remember to go back and re read. To me, a sign of a good book has been one that has been loved on. The spine is crackled from being stretched open so much, the pages are soft from fingers flipping through the pages at lightning speed and there may be more ink from the reader in there than the actual original copy contained. My absolute favorite all time is "The Summer I Turned Pretty" by Jenny Han. Oh wow, this one will tug at your heart strings and my copy has had some serious love. I have bent the pages over and over, I have dropped it in the pool a few times, and I have underlined all of my favorite parts. I love love love books. And summer romances. Why does everything with the summer seem more magical?¿? 

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-I've survived yet another day without diet coke and it's hard

-Bring me Chick-fil-A and I will be your chick

-Is it really summer if you do not have at least one John Tucker must die situation plan?

-Maybe you're ugly on the outside because you're ugly on the inside!!!!

-Maybe you're ugly on the outside because you're ugly on the inside!!!!

-K but if I got my dad a pair of Crocs for Father's Day I'm pretty sure he would disown me

-I think I like bashas donuts more than I like most people

-Ugh I want to not feel feelings and just eat pizza

-What ever happened to not judging one another?

-I crave cuddles and Disneyland churro a 25/8

-"I had my no sex with Asians rule and then you walk into Sharper Image and there's Quan"

-Lover of everything covered in glitter

Actually being immune to feelings is better

-I'm cranky and I want diet coke

Icecream cake is on my mind all day everyday

Thoughts While Running aka Hell

So I'm trying to get a super hot bod like Rachel Jarvis, so I joined her boot camp and today we ran a mile and to some this is like nothin like easy peezy lemon squeezy. Well not for me!!! I'm used to running, except on my treadmill in my air conditioned room with 30 Rock playing on the iPad in front of me. Just some fun thoughts that came into my head at a 6:45 am run:

-I'm running closer to a hot summer bod

-I don't care how I look ever I will be fat forever and be fine!!!!!

-I bet Krispey Kreme's donuts are hot and fresh right now

-I CAN DO THIS

-I can't do this

-why is everyone here 500 times faster than me 

-I could be sleeping right now

-stop breathing so loud

-this hurts worse than any emotional pain I have ever experienced 

-if I'm getting bad tan lines I'm gonna throw a fit

-I wonder if Kim Kardashian can run a mile

-I kind of really want to die right now

-if I left I wonder who would notice

-somehow, being almost done is not motivating because I know it's just going to get worse from here

-if I do not have a hot bod by the time I get home at 7:30 then there's gonna be a throw down

-it's really fun how I'm the slowest one

Apologies

I think an apology is due, to people that read my blog and think my posts are about them. Confession: the people that read my blog (my close friends, my mom and maybe a few others) are not people that I would ever write terrible things about. The people that I am subliminally writing bad things about are not people that read my blog, and if you are offended, no one is making you read this. But for reals, the people that piss me off the most do not know about this blog and would not be reading it. *Side note: I am not as much as a brat as I make myself out to be. I really care for people, I feel others emotions hard and I sympathize with people, but I also cope with humor. I used to let people walk all over me, I would let people easily slip in and out of my life when it was convenient for them. Now, as cheesy and cliche as this sounds, I have "Changed" -Obama '08. I am strong now, yes I let my emotions out and let everyone know what I am feeling but I do not let others walk across my heart and leave deep and bleeding cuts like I used to. I do not let words leave such a strong pain as they used to. I just am a little bit of a different and stronger person, and sometimes my humor comes off as hurtful and I really am sorry if I hurt feelings.

That was apology number one. Apology number two goes to my closest friends and confidantes, because they inspire most of the snarky comments I make on this emotional vomit home page. I really need to give more credit to them. And as I have mentioned before, best friends are important. Best friends are a different breed of people. Best friends are those people that are there for you, they're there for you when you want to gush about your first kiss, how sweet a boy is to you, how crappy a boy is to you, to listen how much it sucks to have divorced parents. Best friends come over late at night and listen to details of your first and greatest date, they cheer you on in your darkest moments, and they lift you higher in your greatest. Best friends cry with you after a breakup, they laugh with you after embarrassing moments and they tell you the truth about outfits. But having a best friend comes along with a lot of responsibility! You have to give a little to get a little. You have to let your friends help you, but you also have to be there for them. You have to be willing to bring them icecream at 1am, wipe their tears when boys change their mind and give hugs when words cannot do justice. I love my friends and I hope everyone-yes even those few I constantly blog about- have a true and everlasting best friend. So here is some credit to my closest confidantes, and the funny stuff they say that sparks my mind.

-"But you speaking to your ex is worse than listening about the gay sex in evit" -Shay
-"I just love when people tell me things about myself" -Amber
-*Posts selfie about how bad his hair looks* "So naturally you post a selfie because you think you're so ugly" -Carson
-"It must really suck to care what people think about you" -Bailee
"It's just sad you have to use a thesaurus to make your argument" -Shay
-"When you don't park in employee parking and you run into your manager in the parking lot" -Carson
-"You need to move to Provo so we can makeout with boys and never see them again" -Holly
-"Best friends are the kind of friends that they know so much about you that if you ever lost your friendship you would be screwed" -Amber
-"Tensions are hot at work today" -Carson
-"Hun, you are nothing but fat" -Paige
-"You should keep subtweeting" -Bailee

I just wanna say that good friends are cool things, and I am #blessed. Friends make everything bad in this world a lot less hard, and I promise that if you lean unto your friends and let them help you then you will be a happier and more pleasant you.

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

Am I annoying yet?¿?

-Genuine people are most attractive

-Good friends don't tell other friends secrets

-Ben and jerrys is the quickest and most direct way to my heart

-First kisses are just such a beautiful thing

-K I need I get paid like yesterday

-Stop

-I want a six pack but I also want in n out six times a day so

-Good thing I always see people I know when I look homeless

-What if your bf got you and outfit for a date night and it was ugly or it was too small or too big?? Then what

-Do you ever just love everything about a guy (@benandjerrys)

-I don't have any gas money but I have cute workout clothes so

-I've gone a week without diet coke this is the longest week of my life

-11:11 I WISH FOR PUPPIES AND MORE ICECREAM

-Nothing gets under my skin more than fake birks

-Why am I so drawn to boys that slightly suck and will always break my heart

-me

My Favorite Things to Hate: EXPLICIT

Warning: I am going to be brutally honest because I am in a particular fiesty mood tonight. So if you are easily offended probably skip over this post to save yourself a series of angry texts sent to your BFF.

-Crop tops: K if crop tops make you feel 100% and like you are on top of the world and no one can bring you down, then by all means go for it. I am just saying they are trashy. I do not understand the concept of paying for a shirt that is deliberately cut in half to show more skin, because that is just what this world needs-more slutty girls. And I am definitely one to justify most clothing purchases, because I think clothes is power and fashion is art.

-Girls that are dating or have a thing with guys that I have dated or have had a thing with: I don't care who you are, but if I am dating or talking to or whatever with a guy that you have also dated or had a thing with you have every right to hate me. I feel like that is an unspoken girl code. As girls, we hate on girls- which is something I hate about being girls because most of the time I am like "why can't we just all hug eachother and love eachother," but when it comes to a past love, it's war. Even if no part of you wants to be with that boy or misses that boy the slightest bit, seeing someone move on and find someone they like better than you hurts and is hard. Side note: I feel like this is something boys do not get. Girls do not always want you back, but just because it hurts them to see you with someone else does not make this statement false. It is hard. It is unexplainable. It is irrational, but it is true.

-Working out: I feel like if I express my hate for being active and my love for being lazy I am showered with acceptance, which sometimes is true but I actually love and crave the good feelings of after a workout. I feel like my multiple zucchini bread breaks during work are justified.

-MCM: OK YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND COOL. I actually have a crush on a lot of guys too, but I can't publicly announce it because I am not his girlfriend. Like cool, your boyfriend is your MCM for the 74th week in a row, wow shocker I did not see that one coming!!!!!

-People who have it all: this is where jealousy comes in :/ there's just something about hating a girl who has a hot boyfriend, a perfect bod and is a kind soul that sort of makes her less perfect. Like by saying mean things about her will make her break out in zits and she will somehow become the most unlucky human on this planet. But all things aside, if a girl is saying crap about you most of the time she is jealous of you. Except on a few occasions, I have a few names in mind but I am not quite that bold. 

I hope the few readers I do have still respect me and understand this post is mostly meant to be sarcastic, with a few truths stuck in there. xoxo.

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-I consider days that I don't come home with a bag of new stuff from work successful days

-I may wear sweats a lot but I wear dam expensive and stylin ones let me tell you

-ok telling me "you're so cute, I'm surprised you don't have a boyfriend by now" is not a compliment people!!!!

-k but 100% of me wants to curl up in bed in sweatpants all day and binge watch 30 rock

-I just love passionate people

-I may not be making much money by working at Nordstrom but I am building a bomb af wardrobe let me tell ya

-I'm Beyoncé and you're Rebecca Black

-I may wear short shorts but I will wear the hell out of them oopz!!! :P

-there's you in everything I do

-I get most of my inspiration from timeless classics like "John Tucker must die"

-PPL WHO MAKE ME LAUGH keep doing you

-Everything is just better in the summer

-HES NO GOOD FOR YOU HES NO GOOD FOR YOU

-Someone take me to Disneyland I dare you

-boys are like greatest thing one minute and then the next they're competing for math equations on my list of favorite things to hate

My Fav Things

-cereal late at night

-lunch with a friend

-when you're kissing someone and they pull you in close

-brown sugar on my oatmeal

-laughs between kisses

-phone calls

-Victoria secret semi-annual sale

-working with Carson

-bananas

-those smiles that make you feel like you make the sun shine

-vanilla almond Luna bars

-relating to a Taylor swift song

-NEW UNDIES

-seeing friends happy

-laying on the beach in Mexico wow

-my cabin

-not having bug bites!!!!!!

-couple selfies

-zucchini bread from the E-bar!

-Arizona monsoon season

-cuddles

-sharing funny moments

-raspy voices

-the Office season 4

-being called cute

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-forever 21 reminds me of all the people I have never liked

-if there was a human version of flipflops, it would be you

-I feel like summer is country music hate on it

-everyone kind of sucks, you just need to know how much suckiness you can deal with 

-"let's just keep in touch"

-just tryna find a place to wear my prom dress to again

-you're a crappy friend! Just own up to it!

-I just really really love bread ugh

-maroon 5 ugh

-it's so fun running into your favorite person wherever you go

-cute boys make the world go round but also will flip your universe upside down so that's fun

-it's just really cool how we all get different stories of the same situation :-)

-FEELINGS SUCK A LOT

-are you ever just worried things will never be the same

-some days it's okay to not be okay

-cute outfit, how 2007 Disney channel star of you

-things get easier when you decide not to care or show emotion or feel anything actually

-it's just hard to respect others opinions when they have stupid ones

Kenzie and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I think about this day lots, the day that will live in infamy in my mind for ages. March 24th. Wowza was that a day. When I am having a particularly bad day, one that a good diet coke and the quote "I'm Prada you're nada" can't cure, I think "well if I endured March 24th then I can tackle anything," or I am able to laugh at how sincerely awful that day was. Either way, that terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day is always coming to mind, and it is kind of funny.

March 24th started out bomb. I mean great. It was my first day at orientation of my DREAM JOB (sales person at Nordstrom, which for me, is like the shining beacon of hope that I have been wishing for for years) anyway, but I had to go to the beginning of school to attend a class to get a 10% bump on my final-which now that I am thinking about it I do not even know if I received that 10% bump and I definitely should have skipped school that day. Anyway, my outfit was super cute and I had on some rockin' bright red lipstick, I felt awesome. In first hour was when it all started, where the cracks that had been appearing in my life started to be more apparent and I could feel them separating letting out all of the hurt. In first hour I found out some devastating news about a boy that I was super into, so that put a slight damper on things. The cracks were open, and it started to hurt. After second hour was done, I had to leave for orientation. Woot woot. I was ecstatic, ecstatic to be leaving school with the people that had hurt me and ecstatic to be off to the first day of my dream. I was rocking out to- I vividly remember this moment- "Sk8r Boi" when my cute little convertible bug started to shake and steam and I had to pull over-while on the 101 by the way- where my car then stopped working and I was stuck. STUCK ON THE FREEWAY ON MY FIRST DAY TO ORIENTATION AFTER HEARING THE (as previously mentioned) WORST NEWS OF MY LIFE. I wanted to cry, I wanted to sob and to crawl under a rock. But I couldn't, I was on my way to my first day of my big girl job so I had to do the big girl thing- call my mom and have my dad come and rescue me. So that's what I did, I didn't cry yet. I couldn't mess up my makeup for my big day.

So anyway I make it to orientation, a little late and frenzied, but still lookin' good. Orientation was great, awesome, I soaked up every second and loved it. And then came lunch, where I had to patch up the activities of that mornings and bam water works. Tears all by myself in the middle of the Scottsdale food court over my panda express- which was disgusting and I didn't even finish by the way. So aside from crying all alone in the food court, messing up my makeup and my ego, I had to shuffle my way back to class and sit in another three hours of orientation with so many events hanging over my head. Now I know I was being very dramatic, but that day was out of a movie. I was almost expecting Warner Brothers to give me a call that afternoon and say "Yes, Ms Kenzie Yee, we heard about your sucky boy situation, your car breaking down on the freeway and also about your breakdown in the food court we would like to make your day into a comedy," but they did not call that afternoon. Instead that afternoon I had to teach piano, and be a little bit sad, and Warner Brothers still has not called. 

Anyway, with this day always hanging over my head, maybe if I did a little (really long) rant about it, it can for sure move on from my memories. Or maybe I will always vividly remember the diet coke I was sipping while I wiped away my tears over my little black iPhone to remind me that if I can tackle March 24th, I can tackle it all. Bring it on. 

(But not really because that day sucked and I really do not think I can emotionally take another March 24th until maybe I am 24 years of age)

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

*with a side of anger

-FMT if you think boys are dumb

-I love Christmas lights I want Christmas lights in June

-if you need a song to cry to, "Girl Crush" is a great choice

-u r annoying u need to stop being a thing

-don't be the friend that tells friends secrets

-everything gets out :-)

-atleast I have long legs

-it's really fun when you're running late to work and your legs are jello from a workout and you have to MF SPRINT UP THE STAIRS

-if you miss someone tell them, it's useless to play games that gets you nowhere

-don't make promises you can't keep

-you're just a stand up human being!!! Keep doing you!!!!!

-today I am grateful for feelings that stay in the past

-it just kinda sucks when you have a funny moment and the person you wanna share it with doesn't wanna hear it from you

-funny how you're two different people all at one time!!!!

-mediocre

-disappointing 

-soft

-unoriginal

-I JUST WANNA GRAB YOUR FACE AND PLANT ONE ON YA

-maybe stop being such a douche bag and maybe I'll stop subtweeting you :-)

M on M

Fun fact: My real name is McKenzie. And as much as I obsess when people call me "Kenzie" or "Kenz" (!!!!!!) like obsess where my heart melts into a big puddle and I see rainbows and doves, I also obsess over things with my initial on them, M. And lately, a lot of things that happen to begin with my letter have been on my mind. So imma bout to nose dive zoom into them, dissect them one by one ;-)

Memories: Memories are these really fun things that actually can really suck sometimes. Like you can be driving to get some good Krispey Kreme donuts and then you realized that driving up Higley road is like wow memory lane and you remember all of these emotions and times in your life, and you start to (up next) miss someone or something or a time period. Memories can be good, they can be really good. It's the best thing ever to have good memories because those are things that you hold with you forever, but memories are dangerous. If you're taking a little stroll down memory lane, make sure you don't pick out a house and get a mortgage on memory lane because staying in the past does not help anyone.

Missing someone- Missing someone is weird and just a big BLAH. I think we can all agree that missing someone is one of the worst feelings we as humans can experience. I'm not strictly talking about missing a past "love interest" (which hurts like a mother trucker) but I mean missing someone like your dad after he moves out, or a best friend after they move to Utah or even missing someone you have grown apart from. I do not think I could ever not like someone enough that I would wish upon them the hurting feeling of missing someone.

M&M's- K well because of my obsession with my initial, ever since like the beginning of time I have had this fantasy of dating a boy who's name begins with an "M" because then we can BE M&M's FOR HALLOWEEN. I just vision us walking into a really cool Halloween (one of my fav holidays) party and I have a green swing dress with a big white M on it and white go-go boots on, and he has a red t-shirt with an M on it and cute boy shorts on, and wow we would just. That beautiful vision brings tears to my eyes.

Music- I just wanna say that "How to be a heartbreaker" by Marina and the Diamonds is probably the best advice ever and that if anyone is wondering how to handle boys they should probably listen to that bad boy.

Things I Would Rather Be Doing

You know those days where like everything sucks and everyone is annoying and then you are sitting all alone in the food court on your break trying to look cute stuffing your face with pizza, and then you can just think of 47,000 things that you would rather be doing with your time? Today is one of those days. Here's just a quick list of things I would rather be doing or places I would rather be than sitting in this too loud gathering place for annoying people:

-sitting on a beach in Mexico reading a cheesy romance novel that makes me crave a relationship

-holding puppies

-kissing in the rain

-watching Harry Potter

-snuggled up in bed in my fav wildfox sweater and 30 rock playing in the background while I try to beat my high score on 10/10

-sitting at a beach anywhere actually

-reading on the top of the houseboat at Lake Powell

-riding the ferry from balboa island to the fun zone with a frozen banana in my hand

-sweeping my room

-laying on my trampoline under blankets while napping

-holding hands

-watching the finale of Friday night lights

-getting yelled at by Disneyland workers for running to Matterhorn

-running in my new running shorts

-getting a free donut from Krispey Kreme

-telling certain boys they're douche bags and will never find love and that I hope they go bald before the age of 21

It's not 47,000 things buts it's a hella lot of things that sound better than being stuck in this food court.

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-sometimes it's just easier to hate someone so you don't let yourself miss them

-if I've never subtweeted you then you probably haven't made an impact in my life

-why is missing people who suck a thing???

-you're so cute it hurts my insides

-bandaids really don't fix bulletholes though

-I JUST WANNA BE BRITNEY SPEARS

-nothing cuter than asking for that late night hook up

-when you've been through so much you actually start to feel numb to emotion hahahahhaaaaaa

-"I'm not like the other guys" yeah you're more of a douche bag!!!!

-idgaf if I sound like a Molly Mormon who wears bubble necklaces and has a shabby chic themed home but being married sounds pretty sweet because literally you have a cuddle buddy every night and that sounds pretty aight

-justifying your actions doesn't make the hurt go away

-I'm just excited to see who the first person from our class is to get engaged

-"Career wise I'm just gonna marry rich and design handbags"

-but bad boys tho

-funny how things change

-my fault is literally liking the person too much hahahahah

Mercury Is In Retrograde

Mercury is in retrograde.. Still. K wtf universe like stop throwing up on us. Even if you do not believe all of this astrology halabaloo, it is still nice to have something to blame when things are just going crappy-am I right ladies. So basically what happens when Mercury is in retrograde is that Mercury is regressing or something (I don't know an astrologer explained it to me) and basically everything about everything is going to suck and we as humans should lay low, not make plans, and expect the worst. Apparently Mercury has been in retrograde for the past two weeks, so imma bout to drop all of the crappy things that I am blaming on Mercury retrograding.

-One of my very best friends moved to Utah (which I can't blame on the universe but it sucks and Mercury in retrograde sucks)

-Returns at work have been off the wall insane

-Boys have been sucking (as usual) but kind of a lot lately

-My heart got slightly broken

-I realized that from a metal analyst's viewpoint, I probably do have an addiction to shopping/spending money which is really good since I make $9 an hour and have the taste of someone who should be making $900 an hour

-Literally as I am typing this blog post, my computer decides to go wack and reloads the page so the post disappears and I have to restart

-I blew out my tire

-I tripped over a rug at work multiple times in one day in the very tall pair of shoes which are my favorite so there's that

-EVERYONE PLUS THEIR MF DOG HAS A MF BOYFRIEND and maybe that doesn't have anything to do with Mercury is in retrograde but guess what universe, sista over here is kind of upset about that

Atleast Mercury should be done retrograding on June 11th, so I guess I will have to find a new excuse to blame all of my misfortunes on. ;-)