Indecisive

I am really indecisive, like crazy, exhausting and annoyingly indecisive. I cannot make a decision to save my life, kind of. The thing is, most of the time I really do have an opinion or I really do have my mind made up, I just am afraid to see how everyone around me will react. I do not want to step on any one's toes or make anyone uncomfortable, except when choosing where to eat because that is a time that I truly have no preference where to eat, I love all food- I am a lover of all food, so bring it on.

Girls know what they want. 

Girls want to be loved.

Girls want to love.

Girls want to feel pretty.

Girls want to be told they are pretty.

Girls want a cute boy to notice them.

But not knowing what that cute boy wants, how he is going to react, that is the scary part. That is where I think the indecisiveness comes from.

One time, I was crushing on this boy and after I hung out with him I immediately called Paige to gab about our hangout at in n out. Paige is a really good listener and really good at advice, she is basically who you call in any situation- she also is very good at phrasing texts, she basically is the reason why I got half the boys I did. Anyway, I was telling her how I was afraid to like this boy, how I was afraid he was playing with my emotions and that I really should not like him because it will end up in shooting flames and I would be devastated, see I was smart once. But inside, I knew that the possibility of it ending horribly wasn't going to stop me from going for the cute boy, because how do you tell yourself not to feel something you so strongly, purely and vividly do? You just do not. I could debate and make a pros and cons list all night with Paige, but all along I knew what I wanted: him.

Girls know what they want.

I haven't felt uncertain about a person, situation or relationship in a very long time, like back to my dark ages time, and the other day I did. I felt uncertain because I thought I wasn't quite sure what I wanted, and it was when I realized that I know what I want, I just wasn't sure what the other person wanted- and that makes me anxious, that makes me scared and that makes me uncertain. That was the most awful feeling, and I felt similar to how I did when I felt broken. 

So, girls, stop being uncertain. Stop questioning what you really want, what you really deserve and what you are really worth. Don't let the fear of a fireball finale hold you back from stating what you want. Be certain in what you need. It is okay to cause a reaction among your peers, it is okay to want something and to let yourself feel all of the emotions that come along with it, because if we didn't feel those annoying emotions, we wouldn't feel the good ones too. You have to know the lows to know the good stuff.

xoxo