Every English teacher that I have encountered has banned the word "things" from the writing of their students. But here's the issue- sometimes I don't know how to put my thoughts into words, I put my thoughts in sounds or tears or icecream, but sometimes coming up with the right word is just hard, and since I am not being graded on my posts I will use "thing" and "stuff" and "your" all I want.
There are some things that I wish were real things. I wish white out could be used in conversations, I wish I could wipe a tide to go pen over memories and I wish there was a refund or insurance policy on feelings. Yes, I know, we all (insert caring and sympathetic therapist tone of voice) learn from our mistakes and that shapes us into better human beings. And I know that and I fully believe that, but sometimes I get a little rerun of an old feeling and I can't focus- like my vision gets blurred and my speech is confusing and I just wish it would go away. So I am calling a momentary bluff on "we learn from our mistakes."
I wish that when I am talking to a cute boy and I deeply embarrass myself, like pausing because my brain literally freezes because the human in front of me is sent straight from God and I do not think I will ever encounter such a beautiful human being in my life, that I could whip out a can of white out from my back pocket and just cover up that moment. Like whoops, I embarrassed myself yet again can we just scratch that out. Like can we please pretend that I did not just say something too personal or too deep or too feelingy or too clingy, let's just mask it in a thick coat of white out and call it good, pretty please?
I wish that I could get a refund or insurance policy on feelings. Like before I start to fall for a guy, can I somehow purchase a package that states "incase he turns out to be a total jerk, which a large percentage of guys are, you may feel no remorse when you wake up the day after he breaks your heart, you will not feel the embarrassment of a breakup, you will not miss him because you are smart and you purchased insurance." Like yes, I would please like to return all memories and kisses from this boy, and I am not liable for any damage caused to my broken self. I would invest some big bucks in a little package that would ensure that in the case of a fatal like heart break, that I will be able to build myself up enough in time to not feel the physical toll that a broken heart has on my body. It is like a little cushion. So many nights that I have spent with an aching heart I wished with all of my might that it would go away, that I could pay a price or sign a slip and all of my past feelings and emotions would wipe away. Some call this drugs, I call it icecream and diet coke, but icecream and diet coke starts to take a toll on your body.
Ok so major confession- I have a secret Pinterest board of Taylor Swift quotes that I look at when it is just one of "thoooose" days. I don't know why or how, but Taylor Swift just GETS IT. I mean, she would be a great counselor I feel like because she has expirienced it all. Her quotes seem to describe how too well she knows the "aching of your body crumbling over after a heartbreak" feeling, she knows the "kick-a** mood of I am going to break him" feeling, she knows the "crazy ex-girlfriend" feeling, she knows the "I don't want him anymore but he is still on my mind" feeling- like she knows it all. And that is comforting- especially to see one's feelings in writing. So on one of my binge nights of Taylor Swift quotes I saw this quote "Tide to-go pens don't work on boyfriends," and ok maybe it is because I am very exhausted or my mind just is not the sharpest tool in the tool box, but it took me a minute to get it. And then I did, and then a light went off and my laptop screen lit up and here we are. Wouldn't that be rad if after a breakup or heartbreak or ending of a "thing" one could go to Target and grab a "tide to-go" pen and just wipe it all over their shattered heart? And I know and believe that trials make you stronger and all of that good stuff, but honestly, we all have been there and it hurts. And sometimes I could really use a tide to-go pen.
So, let's put science to a greater use and create some packages to ensure the sting of a heartbreak is not too heavy to handle.
xoxo
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