I Know My Times Tables!

I vividly recall the image of my third grade teacher marching around the classroom clapping to the tune of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" the multiples of 6, I can picture her bangs that she fashioned in such a way that they resembled a flower, I see her finger nails that she for some reason would file to sharpen to a point, and I, to this day, remember my times tables. I was 8 years old when I learned them, and today I am 18 years old. My times tables are just one of those things that is drilled into my memory, as much as I can try to erase that memory or the numbers or the tune, it is there. It just is. I like to think that I have a superb memory, but I also like to think that the real reason why boys don't talk to me is because they are intimidated by me (thx mom) and that mermaids do exist, so take that statement cautiously. Sometimes those little nuggets of memory expose themselves so I made a little list of those nuggets of pure genius, pure genius thoughts and ideas and lessons that I will never forget, pure thoughts of genius that I will carry with me into the afterlife.

-"If you sit up straight your stomach will automatically suck in and you will look taller and thinner," I think this as I can feel my muffin top out of my tight jeans when I had a bit too much pasta for dinner.

-"You say 'sorry' too much," I agree, I should stop apologizing for things I believe in and things I feel, so now when I find myself about to justify my emotions, I just accept and embrace that I am not the average human being- but (brace yourself for a very deep and poetic statement) what really is the average human being??

-"It does not matter what grade you got, as long as you tried your hardest," I don't think I applied the true meaning to this statement as I failed multiple math quizzes because I chose to hangout with a cute boy instead of study, but still.

-"The quickest way to a boys heart is through his stomach," the first hangout with my only real life boyfriend was at in n out, with food, therefore this statement is true.

-"x equals negative b, plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac all over 2a," I can spit out the quadratic formula LIKE NOBODIES BUSINESS

-"You can be whatever you want, as long as it makes you happy," I love my mom eternally for this statement she told me, and I returned it with "what if Tyson wants to be a power ranger?" But what I was really thinking was "what if I grew up to be a stripper?" I was a weird kid.

-"You run faster if your second toe is longer than your first toe," thank you Bailee Germaine, you will forever be faster than me.

-"Remember who you are and what you stand for, and remember be nice to all the boys but only flirt with the cute boys, you don't want to give the wrong boys the wrong impression," my mom would always say her little monologue as I got out of the car to go to the movies with friends- where I would meet up with a group of boys and hope to sit by the boy I like eeek!!!!-or when I would rush out of the door to school and to this day I am ever so grateful for both little nugget of wisdom.

-"The most attractive thing a girl can do while eating dessert is to twist the spoon in her mouth, I heard it on the radio," thank you Holly I will never eat ice cream the same way, and you're welcome to everyone who will ever eat ice cream again with a boy.

-"That can either go to waste, or it can go to your waist," I normally take the risk of it going to my waist, because the next worst thing than retail regret is the regret you feel at 11pm wishing you ate that donut.

-"I knew I was in love with your Grandpa Riggs when I met his family," bless my Great Grandma Riggs' soul, but to be honest, when I asked her when she knew she was in love with my Great Grandpa Riggs, I was a little disappointed by this response. I was hoping for "the moment he kissed me in the rain while Frank Sinatra played in the background," or "when he looked at me that way he did when I would laugh," something sweet and cheesy and cliche, but I am far from disappointed from her response today, and I think I have thought of that statement everyday since the day she told me.

xoxo