So Here's The Thing

So here's the thing, my blog was conceived out of wedlock. I didn't create clearlykenzie to inspire people, to share workout tips, to spill where the greatest deals are, to showcase how spectacular this life I'm living is, it was created out of a quick moment of anger and sass and the want to get back at the source of my anger. My first post "oops," came out of my bitter, sarcastic, heartbroken side. I was sad at a boy who broke my heart, embarrassed me, made promises he chose not to keep, I was a mess. When I wanted to take a stab at that situation I would blog it out, I cope with humor. I would cover my feelings in a thick layer of satire to ease my soul, and slowly but surely my soul was put to ease. My best posts come from that bitter part of me that lets out all of my annoyances, but here's the thing- that bitter part of me is healing. My life is calmer now, I'm not boiling with anger when I think of a heartbreak, I'm not saying my life is perfect, because by all means it is far from it, but I'm happy. I read my scriptures, I keep people in my life who uplift me, I get to care to 4 of the sweetest kids on this planet and they bring a smile to my face everyday. I don't have a boyfriend, or a perfect hot bod, or even my full wardrobe, but I'm just happy. I have my bad days, I have days where I get jealous from a post on social media, where I get a flash of emotion from a song or a picture, days where I miss my mom lots, but I'm not bitter. 

So what I'm trying to say is, clearlykenzie might be a bit dull for a little, I'm sorry. I don't have anything to be bitter about, to pull my wit out and make snarky remarks on. I still get bugged like crazy at boys, I still don't like army pants, but I'm not waving my white flag on this blog, I'm just saying to the maybe 3 people that read my blog, I'm putting a pause on my pity party I like to occasionally throw and I am celebrating being happy. I'm continuing to post thoughts that pop into my head because we all know I have lots of crazy ones, and sometimes a memory comes to mind and I want to spill about my feelings and experiences, but don't give up on clearlykenzie. I'm maturing, I'm learning how to handle life when it doesn't go how I want it to, I'm learning to literally find joy in the mess- and this whole learning thing is actually quite messy. And I mess up, a lot. So believe in clearlykenzie, believe in celebrating happiness, believe in kisses, believe in kind words, believe in sugar, believe in friends.

Xoxo