Mixed Messages

My freshman year of high school I had a crush on this boy. I remember this moment like it is an important one in the box of "McKenzie's memories that shaped her into the outstanding human being she is today," (that box is a collection of words of wisdom during back scratches from mom, broken hearts experienced because of boys and the day I decided to try Diet Coke) this boy walked up to me at the end of 5th period Honors English class and put his hands up, I assumed he was going in for a hug because his hands were up and he said with excitement "McKenzie!" And because of my vast experience with boys at that point, I went in for a hug. Bad move, because after we pulled away he chuckled "Oh I was going in for a high five but that's cool too," my cheeks still turn red when I think of that moment.

Here's the thing, boys give mixed messages like Frat parties hand out STD's, it's inevitable. This is hard because to a girl, when a boy smiles at her in the hallway her heart is melting and she is already envisioning their wedding day and has decided to go with sunflowers rather than garden roses for the bridesmaids, a bold choice she tells her friends in the cafeteria. And then she turns around and sees that same boy, the same boy who offered the sweet smile basically asking for her hand in marriage in the process, is clearly flirting with that blond girl over a tray of french fries. So not cool, because the girl has already chosen their wedding colors to make sure they compliment both of their skin tones, and now he is throwing everything away! Ugh the nerve! Naturally, this is the blond girl's fault, because it is better to believe that she someone casted a spell on this boy to flirt with her, rather than he thinks she is cute and the girl refuses to believe that he smiles like that to every girl in the hallway. Like it is easy for a boy to hand out mixed signals, it is easy for a girl to blame another girl for her crush not reciprocating the same feelings.

I wish that boys came with a warning label, like a "WARNING: I will lead you on and when I find the next best offer swoop that up before I have time to give you another thought," or "WARNING: I will make you fall for me by the fact that I am falling for you, and then crush your heart and I will move on and you will watch me move further from your heart," or "WARNING: I am not a nice guy," but instead, boys come with mixed messages. He comes with the cutest crooked smile you have ever seen, he comes with the greatest hugs a human can experience, but he also comes with an expiration date, which of course like the warning label, is hidden underneath all of that dreaminess.

May strength and clear headiness be with us all when trying to decode these mixed messages.

xoxo