When I was in fourth grade I used to walk back from my math class everyday with a particular blond girl, and everyday she would sing and it would make me so uncomfortable. I don't know, I get uncomfortable easily. And then to make the situation that much better, she would ask me if I thought she was good and through my teeth I would muster out a "yes amazing," and then speed walk back to my safe classroom, and walk past my crush where he would look up and smile at me and I would stick my tongue out at him- I was a master at flirting even back then. But at this time in life is the time when I started to categorize people. There was those girls who sang in the hallway and in the bathroom during recess, there was those girls who would wear tight booty jean shorts to school and they never had their hair done, there was those girls who used a napkin on their lap during lunch (???), the list went on. Well, on until about 10 maybe, and when I would meet someone they would fit inside that category. I didn't do it to make a person less than they were or to judge quickly (which I am aware this is what that sounds like) I just did it as a comfort thing, and also as a way to remember who was who and who liked what and who liked who. With Fall quickly approaching and thoughts of pumpkins and bonfires circling in our brains, I thought I would have a few quick categories of different types of girls who dress up as different costumes for Halloween. (Idea courtesy of Shay Bae)
Slutty Nurse: "It is so good to see you, I am so glad to see that you went back and got your degree," if you do not remember this part of The Office when Michael is speaking to the nurse stripper in the beginning of season four, the episode labeled "fun run," then you cannot truly grasp the humor of The Office and we have a very large chance of not becoming friends- your loss obviously because I am clearly a sane, drama free and free spirited type of girl. We all know that girl who uses Halloween as the excuse to dress up as a total skank, which, if you got it flaunt it. YOU DO YOU. I mean if I had the amenities to rock that low cut, tight and short slutty nurse outfit you can bet your bottom dollar I would want to rock it too, but I don't- for personal reasons, not for the reason I do not have the amenities because I cannot stop eating those darn chocolate tarts. Anyway, so we got the slutty nurse who will lure boys into her "health" and "brains" to get a check up, if you know what I mean.
Anti Halloween: AKA anti fun, AKA you hate smiles, AKA you hate sugar and children and probably do not like happiness. This is the girl who will throw on a black t shirt with a glittery spider and show up to the Halloween party as a "spider" oohhh creative! and call it good. If that's you, then that's you, just know that no one thinks you really are a spider and don't forget that you are taking the only day of the year where you can dress up as anything you want and wasting it on a crappy t shirt with a pair of skinny jeans and your old beat up converse, you probably curled your extensions perfect and maybe you have long glittery eyelashes, because that is very spidey- like.
Cannon ball: I call this girl the "cannon ball" because when you jump into the pool in a cannon ball fashion, everyone knows what is going on and everyone notices you and you splash, naturally, and the "cannon ball" type of girl makes a splash in her Halloween costume. She has the wig, she has the face paint makeup, she even has the ripped stockings with the fake cuts underneath on her legs for effect, she basically is Cady Heron when she walks into the Halloween party in that one scene of Mean Girls. Amidst slutty nurses, skanky bunnies and plenty of Anti-Halloweeners, you definitely make a splash. Your presence is hard to miss, for your blow up costume with the lights twinkling and most likely fireworks shooting out take up most of the room, but embrace it. YOU DO YOU.
I love Halloween. I love that one day of the 365 days we are given a year (granted we are not experiencing a leap year) we can dress up and be whatever we want, whoever we want- and it is normal. It is expected. I am a firm believer in the fact that what you wear changes your attitude and your self esteem to a point, so on Halloween we can be the sluttiest, the most boring, the utterly fantastic whatever our hearts want us to be- and that is *a neon flashing lights sign of* wonderful.
xoxo
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