Just as I believe every person has their spirit animal, every person has their spirit candy. The other day I was chit chatting with my good pal Brooklynndee and I forgot what we were talking about, probably how annoying all the boys in our lives are and how we need more nighties, but all of a sudden she said the most brilliant line, "I feel like salt water taffy is the candy you eat when there's nothing better. Friends are kind of like that, there's some people you just hangout with when you have nothing better to do, OH MY GOSH I AM THE SALT WATER TAFFY FRIEND" and ok can we agree that this is a common fear among humans? Because if not then I either over think things or I truly am the epitome of a salt water taffy friend. Also, maybe you don't want to admit it, but we ALL have that salt water taffy person in our life. Maybe it's someone we hangout with, maybe it's that person we always snapchat because SOMEONE has to see our cute selfies- whatever it is, we all have a salt water taffy friend.
Just like boys can be compared to cupcakes, let's do a fun little comparison to them as candy. Because boys are one of my most fav topics on this little emotional vomit page of mine, I bag on them a lot. But you know how in elementary school when a cute boy kept being annoying to you and making you roll your eyes, it was because he secretly loved you and that was his way of flirting? In this situation I AM THE IMMATURE LITTLE BOY, because I love love boys too much so I kind of make fun of them to make myself feel better. Plus I think it will make me want them less, it never does. Anyway, we have a few different kind of candy- we got the salt water taffy, the black licorice, the milk dud and then the sour belt.
Salt water taffy- as previously mentioned, this is the boy that you call when you need a confidence boost. This is the boy you send a cute snapchat to so that he will tell you that you look good. Just as you would never buy extra salt water taffy's to stuff in your pocket and eat for fun, this is not the boy that you wanna keep with you and actually see a future with.
Black licorice- I am sorry I personally am not a fan of black licorice and I do not understand how it is considered candy because it tastes like tar to me- like tar that they make roads out of. The black licorice boy is the boy that sucks you in, because red vines licorice is the yummiest thing everrrrr, he sweet talks you, he calls you "babe," he makes you feel like you're on top of the world, he has great hair, he has a sparkling smile and he makes you smile greater. But guess what- black licorice boy actually sucks. Black licorice boy is actually a manipulator who uses your innocence and trusting self to get what he wants, and he is just all a show. Just like black licorice is the last thing I would ever choose in a candy store, this boy is the last thing I would ever want in my life.
Milk dud- wow milk duds is one of my FAVORITE candy ever ever ever. The milk dud boy is not in fact a dud, he is everything you have ever dreamed for and more. He fills you up, he makes you happier than you thought possible, he just does everything right. But the sucky thing about milk dud boy is that once things start to get really good, like the good part of eating a milk dud, they start to go downhill- and downhill fast. And once all the chocolate-y goodness is gone, as is the good part of a milk dud boy, the milk dud gets sticky, and for a while you can not stop trying to unstuck the milk dud from your teeth. Just like the haunted milk dud boy, you can't get him out of your life and he seems stuck to you in the worst sense.
Sour belt- who doesn't love a good sour belt? Or anything sour in general, like war heads, mhmm. The sour belt boy is the best of both worlds, he is sour and spunky and mysterious- he leaves you wanting more. Yet, he still is sweet and soft which pulls girls in. The sour belt boy is the total package, he is super cute in every aspect, he is funny and a bit sourly sarcastic, and he is a total sweetheart but the sweetheart part isn't all gooey and gross because like I said- he is the best of both worlds.
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