Some are born into it, some become it by default, and some are it before even knowing that they are it- but I am speaking to all fellow D.U.F.F.'s out there. D.U.F.F. = Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Basically, the D.U.F.F. is the friend that people come up to, to have you set them up with your better looking, funnier and basically more desirable human being of a friend. Some kinder words for The D.U.F.F. are "wing woman" or "matchmaker," because the D.U.F.F. is always setting up their friends, per request of another fellow better looking human being.
I am marked as the D.U.F.F. I am just gonna say it, I can't fight it, I can't change it- all I can do is embrace it. If you are reading this and you are a D.U.F.F. you will understand, and if you are reading this who knows you have a friend who is a D.U.F.F., maybe you will better understand them and their lack of social involvement with the other gender.
Here are some helpful tips of what you want to know before you become the D.U.F.F. I can be a bit harsh because I am a D.U.F.F., this kind of is like how I can make racist Asian woman jokes because I am both of those.
You will be invited to cool parties and hangouts: just because you are the D.U.F.F. does not mean you will not be invited to fun stuff, it just means that you are the last invited to said cool gathering. You hear it through the grapevine, you hear it from a group of friends talking or you are accidentally included in a group message that was supposed to include the other much cooler and attractive person who shares your name. But still, at least you are invited and get to partake of the fun.
Cute boys will talk to you: being the D.U.F.F. does not exclude any kind of interaction with a better looking member of the opposite sex, however, when they choose to speak to you they probably want inside information on your hot friend, a ride home, or they are asking for you to put in a good word for them. Still, you get a conversation with a hottie.
Your other friends with complain to you about being The D.U.F.F. and you just have to say they're not and pretend to be sympathetic: the thing is, when you are The D.U.F.F. you just know, it is like this unspoken knowing, and your friends that claim to be The D.U.F.F. know it too, they just say this to make you feel better- like "you are soooo not The D.U.F.F. I am, I mean I only got like four guys numbers last night, LAME!" When in all actuality she actually got six numbers but is trying to make you feel better, and you know it was six because they all came up to you earlier that night to have you help them. But to all fellow D.U.F.F.'s out there, it is okay, because we get special information from hot guys at cool parties.
We might always be The D.U.F.F. but one day a guy will want the D.U.F.F.: I am a firm believer that there is someone for everyone. Everyone has a Kanye to their Kim, a weird guy with that neck tattoo to their inner fat lady at Walmart, it is just how it works. I believe that if we try hard enough, even the D.U.F.F.'s can find true and everlasting love. Until the guy decides he is bored with the girl and moves on, but still- even for a D.U.F.F. it is possible to find true love.
So to all fellow D.U.F.F.'s out there, be happy for your friends that are flocked with loving attention from cute guys, enjoy the cool parties you get to attend, and embrace being the D.U.F.F. because sometimes it is a bit rewarding.
xoxo
Here are some helpful tips of what you want to know before you become the D.U.F.F. I can be a bit harsh because I am a D.U.F.F., this kind of is like how I can make racist Asian woman jokes because I am both of those.
You will be invited to cool parties and hangouts: just because you are the D.U.F.F. does not mean you will not be invited to fun stuff, it just means that you are the last invited to said cool gathering. You hear it through the grapevine, you hear it from a group of friends talking or you are accidentally included in a group message that was supposed to include the other much cooler and attractive person who shares your name. But still, at least you are invited and get to partake of the fun.
Cute boys will talk to you: being the D.U.F.F. does not exclude any kind of interaction with a better looking member of the opposite sex, however, when they choose to speak to you they probably want inside information on your hot friend, a ride home, or they are asking for you to put in a good word for them. Still, you get a conversation with a hottie.
Your other friends with complain to you about being The D.U.F.F. and you just have to say they're not and pretend to be sympathetic: the thing is, when you are The D.U.F.F. you just know, it is like this unspoken knowing, and your friends that claim to be The D.U.F.F. know it too, they just say this to make you feel better- like "you are soooo not The D.U.F.F. I am, I mean I only got like four guys numbers last night, LAME!" When in all actuality she actually got six numbers but is trying to make you feel better, and you know it was six because they all came up to you earlier that night to have you help them. But to all fellow D.U.F.F.'s out there, it is okay, because we get special information from hot guys at cool parties.
We might always be The D.U.F.F. but one day a guy will want the D.U.F.F.: I am a firm believer that there is someone for everyone. Everyone has a Kanye to their Kim, a weird guy with that neck tattoo to their inner fat lady at Walmart, it is just how it works. I believe that if we try hard enough, even the D.U.F.F.'s can find true and everlasting love. Until the guy decides he is bored with the girl and moves on, but still- even for a D.U.F.F. it is possible to find true love.
So to all fellow D.U.F.F.'s out there, be happy for your friends that are flocked with loving attention from cute guys, enjoy the cool parties you get to attend, and embrace being the D.U.F.F. because sometimes it is a bit rewarding.
xoxo
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