M on M

Fun fact: My real name is McKenzie. And as much as I obsess when people call me "Kenzie" or "Kenz" (!!!!!!) like obsess where my heart melts into a big puddle and I see rainbows and doves, I also obsess over things with my initial on them, M. And lately, a lot of things that happen to begin with my letter have been on my mind. So imma bout to nose dive zoom into them, dissect them one by one ;-)

Memories: Memories are these really fun things that actually can really suck sometimes. Like you can be driving to get some good Krispey Kreme donuts and then you realized that driving up Higley road is like wow memory lane and you remember all of these emotions and times in your life, and you start to (up next) miss someone or something or a time period. Memories can be good, they can be really good. It's the best thing ever to have good memories because those are things that you hold with you forever, but memories are dangerous. If you're taking a little stroll down memory lane, make sure you don't pick out a house and get a mortgage on memory lane because staying in the past does not help anyone.

Missing someone- Missing someone is weird and just a big BLAH. I think we can all agree that missing someone is one of the worst feelings we as humans can experience. I'm not strictly talking about missing a past "love interest" (which hurts like a mother trucker) but I mean missing someone like your dad after he moves out, or a best friend after they move to Utah or even missing someone you have grown apart from. I do not think I could ever not like someone enough that I would wish upon them the hurting feeling of missing someone.

M&M's- K well because of my obsession with my initial, ever since like the beginning of time I have had this fantasy of dating a boy who's name begins with an "M" because then we can BE M&M's FOR HALLOWEEN. I just vision us walking into a really cool Halloween (one of my fav holidays) party and I have a green swing dress with a big white M on it and white go-go boots on, and he has a red t-shirt with an M on it and cute boy shorts on, and wow we would just. That beautiful vision brings tears to my eyes.

Music- I just wanna say that "How to be a heartbreaker" by Marina and the Diamonds is probably the best advice ever and that if anyone is wondering how to handle boys they should probably listen to that bad boy.

Things I Would Rather Be Doing

You know those days where like everything sucks and everyone is annoying and then you are sitting all alone in the food court on your break trying to look cute stuffing your face with pizza, and then you can just think of 47,000 things that you would rather be doing with your time? Today is one of those days. Here's just a quick list of things I would rather be doing or places I would rather be than sitting in this too loud gathering place for annoying people:

-sitting on a beach in Mexico reading a cheesy romance novel that makes me crave a relationship

-holding puppies

-kissing in the rain

-watching Harry Potter

-snuggled up in bed in my fav wildfox sweater and 30 rock playing in the background while I try to beat my high score on 10/10

-sitting at a beach anywhere actually

-reading on the top of the houseboat at Lake Powell

-riding the ferry from balboa island to the fun zone with a frozen banana in my hand

-sweeping my room

-laying on my trampoline under blankets while napping

-holding hands

-watching the finale of Friday night lights

-getting yelled at by Disneyland workers for running to Matterhorn

-running in my new running shorts

-getting a free donut from Krispey Kreme

-telling certain boys they're douche bags and will never find love and that I hope they go bald before the age of 21

It's not 47,000 things buts it's a hella lot of things that sound better than being stuck in this food court.

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

-sometimes it's just easier to hate someone so you don't let yourself miss them

-if I've never subtweeted you then you probably haven't made an impact in my life

-why is missing people who suck a thing???

-you're so cute it hurts my insides

-bandaids really don't fix bulletholes though

-I JUST WANNA BE BRITNEY SPEARS

-nothing cuter than asking for that late night hook up

-when you've been through so much you actually start to feel numb to emotion hahahahhaaaaaa

-"I'm not like the other guys" yeah you're more of a douche bag!!!!

-idgaf if I sound like a Molly Mormon who wears bubble necklaces and has a shabby chic themed home but being married sounds pretty sweet because literally you have a cuddle buddy every night and that sounds pretty aight

-justifying your actions doesn't make the hurt go away

-I'm just excited to see who the first person from our class is to get engaged

-"Career wise I'm just gonna marry rich and design handbags"

-but bad boys tho

-funny how things change

-my fault is literally liking the person too much hahahahah

Mercury Is In Retrograde

Mercury is in retrograde.. Still. K wtf universe like stop throwing up on us. Even if you do not believe all of this astrology halabaloo, it is still nice to have something to blame when things are just going crappy-am I right ladies. So basically what happens when Mercury is in retrograde is that Mercury is regressing or something (I don't know an astrologer explained it to me) and basically everything about everything is going to suck and we as humans should lay low, not make plans, and expect the worst. Apparently Mercury has been in retrograde for the past two weeks, so imma bout to drop all of the crappy things that I am blaming on Mercury retrograding.

-One of my very best friends moved to Utah (which I can't blame on the universe but it sucks and Mercury in retrograde sucks)

-Returns at work have been off the wall insane

-Boys have been sucking (as usual) but kind of a lot lately

-My heart got slightly broken

-I realized that from a metal analyst's viewpoint, I probably do have an addiction to shopping/spending money which is really good since I make $9 an hour and have the taste of someone who should be making $900 an hour

-Literally as I am typing this blog post, my computer decides to go wack and reloads the page so the post disappears and I have to restart

-I blew out my tire

-I tripped over a rug at work multiple times in one day in the very tall pair of shoes which are my favorite so there's that

-EVERYONE PLUS THEIR MF DOG HAS A MF BOYFRIEND and maybe that doesn't have anything to do with Mercury is in retrograde but guess what universe, sista over here is kind of upset about that

Atleast Mercury should be done retrograding on June 11th, so I guess I will have to find a new excuse to blame all of my misfortunes on. ;-)

Thoughts That Came Into My Head

Straight out of my Twitter Drafts

-She's like the human equivalent to capris

-If I had a dollar for every embarrassing thing I did I would have enough dollars to buy a time machine and redo that moment

-"You're cute! I would have thought you would have a boyfriend by now," I am kind of flattered but mostly insulted

-Sometimes all you can give is your all you feel

-WTF how does one be "confusing" and "hard to get" and "available" and "unavailable"

-I'm just a text first kinda gal

-Those smiles that make you weak in the knees wowza

-Craving the beach and tanned skin and late night cuddles always

-Do you ever see something that makes your heart cry tears of pure joy

-Happiness is attractive

-Caring goes a long way

-BUT "IRREPLACEABLE" BY BEYONCE IS MY JAM

-The truth always comes out :-)

Flip the Switch

Sometimes life kinda sucks, and I can buy a new outfit or two and I'm good. I put it past me. But sometimes life sucks like a lot, and Mercury is in Retrograde so basically the universe is throwing up on me and is here to rain on my parade. If I was a vampire, whenever Mercury is in Retrograde I would just flip my humanity switch and feel nothin- how nice would that be?! Yes you feel no happiness, but you feel no pain. You no longer feel the sting of a lost loved one, the broken heart of a breakup or the reddening cheeks of an embarrassing moment. Mercury was in Retrograde and it hit me hard for a while and metaphorically, I flipped my switch. I put all my sadness and anger and hurt aside- I shoved it under my bed and ignored any emotion. Then one day, a true pal said "kenz, you just don't seem happy anymore. There's sadness in your eyes," and that sparked something in me. I realized that I unwillingly flipped my switch, and it wasn't until today when I was rocking out to Katy Perry on my way to work that I realized my broken heart is now a scarred one! It's more beautiful because of the stories it has created. Anyway, so I got thinking of ways that I became me again aka how did I flip my humanity switch back on:

-singing in the car: before Mercury was in retrograde for me, I sang in the car all the time. Then bam it hit and that little spark of happiness than came from me belting lyrics was gone, I didn't feel the need to make myself happy. And then today as I was doing something as silly as singing, I am back ;-)

-asking how friends are doing: part of not feeling any emotion for yourself, is not feeling it for others- which sucks!!!! Part of turning my switch back on was focusing on the happiness of others. Now I sound all preachy and trust me this is not meaning to come off as that, because I had lots and lots of days where I was focused on me and my sadness, but the burden lifted a little as I reached out to others who are struggling.

-giving hugs: hugs are so important! I find that when my switch is on, when I am caring for others, I want to show affection for ones I care for. While Mercury was in retrograde I repelled emotion and affection and anything that showed I was human basically. Now, bring it on. The more hugs the better.

Why Boys Are Like Cupcakes

So today I was gawking at another new plush and soft and lovely Wildfox sweater when my stomach started to growl and I realized that well I was hungry. Now, I have been hungry for a good week or so because I cannot eat a full meal, but today was like really super bad because it was 4 o'clock and I hadn't eaten at all today, and not the kind of "not eat" where I had a Luna bar and a banana, the kind of not eat where I drank a half diet coke for breakfast and called it good. So, naturally, I darted downstairs to the E-Bar and on my treacherous journey down the escalator I was thinking of all of the lavish things I wanted to eat- when it hit me. A cupcake. I do not know why I wanted a cupcake because cupcakes are hard to eat and always have too much frosting but for some odd reason I craved the sugary mockery of a cake. However, as I reached the counter I was bummed to find out that the E-bar does not sell cupcakes, so needless to say I was pretty disappointed. So as I ordered my zuchinni bread (which actually is a lot better than one would assume) I was dwelling on this idea of dissapointment and cupcakes and high hopes when it hit me- BOYS ARE LIKE CUPCAKES. I had a clever tweet, but this idea just kept growing and growing faster, kind of like how army pants rapidly get cuter and cuter with time!!!! So, here it is-Why boys are like cupcakes:

-Cupcakes are so darn cute: and boys, unfortunately, are so darn cute. I wish that cute boys didn't make my heart beat fast, my speech stutter and my face go red but they do. 

-There are so many kinds of cupcakes: I mean you have every flavor imaginable (literally) and then you can get into brands, like you can go with the cute Fresh N Easy store brand, a nice Target cupcake, or the all envied Sprinkles cupcakes. Also, there are like a bajillion types of boys. We have the skater, the Mormon f boy, the "nice guys," the "imma yell offensive comments to cute girls at the mall to get their attention because they will look my way" boys and so many more. Just like we would all take a Sprinkles cupcake over the rest, we all want a boy that is the Sprinkles cupcake equivalence- right ladies?! The Sprinkles cupcake boy will text you first, he will tell you that you are cute, he will make your heart melt and weak in the knees because his smile will light up when he sees you, he will ask you questions about yourself and tickle your knee, he will ask you how you are doing. BIG S/O TO THE SPRINKLE CUPCAKES BOYS- YOU KEEP DOING YOU.

-Cupcakes are kind of a lesser version of a cake: Cupcakes are fun, but hard to eat and can get messy- like boys. Boys are immature and hurt girls so easy, which I feel like if cupcakes were humans they would do the same. Hence, cupcakes=boys while cakes=men. A cupcake boy will be fun for a good month or two, he will ask for that occasional hookup but you fall for it because he's cute (as previously mentioned) and probably a smooth talker. A cupcake boy is the kind of boy who asks if he can kiss you before he actually does, which is actually kind of awkward and a bit weird. While a cake man, hahah weird to say, will not ask for a hookup, he asks for a date. A cake man takes interest in what you have to say, he kisses girls in the moment when it feels right, and the cake man always wins.

In closing of my little rant, cupcakes are fun. They're cute in the moment and most usually make for a fun Instagram post, but in the long run we all want a cake. Because a cake has substance, a cake lasts, and a cake is the better deal.