Sometimes life kinda sucks, and I can buy a new outfit or two and I'm good. I put it past me. But sometimes life sucks like a lot, and Mercury is in Retrograde so basically the universe is throwing up on me and is here to rain on my parade. If I was a vampire, whenever Mercury is in Retrograde I would just flip my humanity switch and feel nothin- how nice would that be?! Yes you feel no happiness, but you feel no pain. You no longer feel the sting of a lost loved one, the broken heart of a breakup or the reddening cheeks of an embarrassing moment. Mercury was in Retrograde and it hit me hard for a while and metaphorically, I flipped my switch. I put all my sadness and anger and hurt aside- I shoved it under my bed and ignored any emotion. Then one day, a true pal said "kenz, you just don't seem happy anymore. There's sadness in your eyes," and that sparked something in me. I realized that I unwillingly flipped my switch, and it wasn't until today when I was rocking out to Katy Perry on my way to work that I realized my broken heart is now a scarred one! It's more beautiful because of the stories it has created. Anyway, so I got thinking of ways that I became me again aka how did I flip my humanity switch back on:
-singing in the car: before Mercury was in retrograde for me, I sang in the car all the time. Then bam it hit and that little spark of happiness than came from me belting lyrics was gone, I didn't feel the need to make myself happy. And then today as I was doing something as silly as singing, I am back ;-)
-asking how friends are doing: part of not feeling any emotion for yourself, is not feeling it for others- which sucks!!!! Part of turning my switch back on was focusing on the happiness of others. Now I sound all preachy and trust me this is not meaning to come off as that, because I had lots and lots of days where I was focused on me and my sadness, but the burden lifted a little as I reached out to others who are struggling.
-giving hugs: hugs are so important! I find that when my switch is on, when I am caring for others, I want to show affection for ones I care for. While Mercury was in retrograde I repelled emotion and affection and anything that showed I was human basically. Now, bring it on. The more hugs the better.
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