What Did You Do?

"What Did You Do?"

I didn't look for you

I didn't ask for this

I didn't need you to pull me apart

I've been falling it of control

I think of you wherever I go

What did you do 

Oh what did you do to me

-Gabrielle Aplin

I love this song, besides the light and catchy tune that somehow reminds me of Christmas which reminds me of smiles and hugs and a certain cute boy, I love this song because it is oh so "relate able." And things that are relateable are the best, because they remind our soul that we are never alone in our feelings or endeavors. I think every girl has felt this, has fallen for a boy and after it goes to the can she thinks "I was perfectly fine before you came along, before you I was happy being alone and I was perfectly OKAY being alone," because after someone leaves your life, it is a lot harder to go back to being okay with being alone. After someone walks out of your life you kind of feel alone, like a part of you that kept you going is now gone and vanished into air. 

"The darker part of him almost wanted to forget her because it hurt so deeply. " this is from James Dasher's prequel to The Maze Runner series, "The Kill Order," and I just had to jot it down because this too is "relateable." How many times when I have been bed ridden because of a bad case of a broken heart is too many, and every time I wished so badly that I could eliminate every trace and memory of the too many boys that have done that to me. Now, I am on the other side, and I am here. I am not thirty flirty and thriving, more like nineteen awkward and cringing, but surviving nonetheless. And if those many heartbroken bed ridden nights have taught me anything, it is that what is waiting on the other side for me is glorious and is like a breathe of sweet air after being suffocated from the wrong kind of love. I look at myself where I was a year ago, and am grateful everyday that I am no longer that person, and I hope everyone always feels that way too. Because a year ago I was perfectly okay with being alone, I was kind of sure with who I am and I didn't know what it felt like to be thrown to the ringer a few times plus 23. But today, I do. And today I know that I will only be thrown in about 400 million other ringers, but if I am this much stronger after a few times through the ringer, I find joy in the person I am growing to be. I hope that everyone feels that same joy. I hope that everyone who is feeling beaten from a long trial that seems endless knows that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, this world is too beautiful to withhold that light. 

Xoxo